


Something Good (The Bad Remix)

by ingberry



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blind Date, Boys Kissing, M/M, bad one night stand, everyone is settling down and Arthur can't deal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-04-06 03:31:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19054369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ingberry/pseuds/ingberry
Summary: After being stood up for a blind date at his favourite restaurant, Arthur went clubbing only to end up with a terrible one night stand. It was a day that should be removed from the very fabric of the universe.





	Something Good (The Bad Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [little_dhampir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_dhampir/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Full Circle aka the best night of Merlin's life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9824192) by [little_dhampir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_dhampir/pseuds/little_dhampir). 



> So many great and fun fics to choose from! I had such a good time trying to figure out what to do. In the end, I picked the drabble where Arthur and Merlin meet on a blind date, only to find out they'd previously had a one night stand. Then I thought, what if said one night stand had been absolutely terrible? And here we are!
> 
> Thank you to my beta ♥

It was 3 PM and Arthur was still cocooned in his bed under a nest of blankets and duvets.

Cocooned to the point where he couldn’t breathe properly, and honestly, that was pretty welcome at the moment. He didn’t want to move, didn’t want to answer any of Gwen’s texts, didn’t want to be reminded that there was a whole fucked up world out there. 

Arthur groaned as his traitorous brain reminded him of last night. He’d explicitly told it to _stop_ , and yet. 

And yet. 

He reached out blindly for his phone to distract himself but ended up reading Gwen’s texts instead. 

_how’d it go?_

_Lance is making dinner if you want to come tell us about it!_

_at 5, if you want._

Arthur did not want. 

He pushed the heel of his hands into his eyes and made a noise eerily similar of a dying goose. All he wanted was to wipe last night from existence. Not just from his own brain, but from the very fabric of the universe. If he could, he would break the space-time continuum to make yesterday go away. 

He hadn’t been to Retro in a while. It was just one of those things. In his twenties, he’d been out about every weekend with Gwaine and Lance, but he wasn’t twenty anymore. Eventually, drinking himself stupid, bathroom blowjobs or waking up to awkward breakfasts with some guy just didn’t feel quite as appealing anymore. Life happened. Gwaine and Elena, of all people, had bought a house in the countryside. Lance and Gwen were now married and their current obsession was ending Arthur’s impressive run as a single man. 

Four years, and counting. Frankly, they weren’t paying enough respect to the streak. 

He’d gone to Retro yesterday, though. After the blind date Gwen had set him up on had stood him up in his favourite restaurant so the entire staff could send him pitying looks along with a second basket of free bread. 

Arthur almost dropped his phone when it rang, and he only answered it on instinct, regretting it immediately.

“Hey, stud,” Gwaine said with alarming smugness. 

“Don’t tell me I texted yesterday.”

“Sure, sure. You didn’t text. Definitely didn’t.”

Arthur looked up at the ceiling and willed himself to sink into the mattress and disappear. 

“You definitely didn’t send both of us pictures of some dude’s lips.” Gwaine paused. “And what I think was a poem about your dick, but it’s hard to be sure.” 

“I was drunk.”

“Well, I, for one, am shocked. Elena is appalled. We are both shocked and appalled.” 

Arthur hung up on him and stuck his head under his blanket mountain. He went to Retro and drank a whole bottle of wine because his ego had been battered to shreds. It had helped, too. It had made him feel better. Feeling the eyes on him, grinding against some guy’s ass on the dancefloor, hands brushing against him as people passed. 

“What?” Arthur said after having ignored Gwaine’s nine other calls. 

“I think you should tell me what happened.”

“No chance.”

“Clearly something did, and it’s not good for you to bottle it up.” A door closed on Gwaine’s end. “You end up freaking out, calling Morgana for advice and then she has ammunition on you for the next thirty years of your lives. She has enough on you already, let’s be real.”

It hardly seemed like the time to tell him that Arthur was currently immune to any ammunition Morgana might have. Since she had shown up on Arthur’s doorstep with a pregnancy test under her jacket and a stricken look on her face, they had reached a temporary truce where Arthur held her hand and promised to be there no matter what she decided. 

“So you’d rather have the blackmail material, then.”

“Of course.” Gwaine laughed. “Nah, mate. I just got a bad feeling from the texts.” 

Arthur sat up in bed, pushing a hand through his hair. He felt slightly unwell, as if his body had forgotten what it was like to be upright. 

“I pulled this fit as fuck guy at Retro. I was really drunk, he was really drunk. We had the worst sex of my life and then I conked out. I woke up at 6 and snuck out of his flat. The end.”

Gwaine stayed quiet for a moment. “How bad?”

“I’m definitely not answering that.”

“Oh, god. Did you break his dick or something?” 

“Nothing broke,” Arthur said. “Except my will to live.”

“He didn’t vomit on you, did he? That happened to Mordred once, he told us in elaborate and horrifying detail at work.”

“Gwaine, for fuck’s sake.”

“If you’d just tell me, I wouldn’t have to guess.”

Arthur closed his eyes. 

“We were both so drunk we could barely get it up, let alone come. He tried sucking me off, but he almost bit my dick off twi—if that’s you laughing, I’m hanging up, you useless tosser.”

Gwaine made a muffled sound. “I’m def-definitely not laughing.”

“Yeah, well. Even though everything was going horrifyingly bad, we kept trying for some unfathomable reason. Just so many horribly awkward things. To the point where we were both sweating, and not in a hot way. At one point, there was lube everywhere.”

“Look,” Gwaine said, his obvious laughing having calmed somewhat. “The best thing for you is to just forget this ever happened. There’s no point dwelling on it. And maybe don’t drink yourself stupid before trying to fuck a guy next time.” 

“Joke’s on me, because I think alcohol is the only thing that’ll make me forget this.”

“It’ll pass. It always does.”  
“I’m too old for this, Gwaine.”

“Should’ve thought of that before you went to Retro in the first place. Stop wallowing, and just forget it. Nothing you can do about it now.”

*

“—so extremely sorry.” Gwen had barely opened the door before she started speaking. “He told me he didn’t show.”

Arthur rolled his eyes as he stepped past her into her flat. Inside, it was warm and smelled of spices. Hanging up his jacket, Arthur shook his head at Gwen. 

“I feel awful. I honestly thought he was… well, never mind.”

“Just leave it, Gwen.” 

“I really don’t get it. I don’t. He’s not usually like this, just ask Lance.”

“Can we talk about something else?” 

“Hi, mate,” Lance said, coming out of the kitchen just as Arthur dropped down onto the sofa. “How are you?”

“We’re talking about something else.”

Gwen grabbed Lance by the upper arm. “Tell him Merlin’s not usually like this.”

“Gwen,” Lance said. 

Looking up at the ceiling, Arthur inhaled deeply. He really should have said no to this.

“What are you bringing to Gwaine and Elena’s housewarming?” Lance asked. “Also, curry for dinner.”

“Perfect. I’m starving. And I don’t know yet. Do you guys want to do something together?” 

“We’ve been thinking about it, but we’re not really sure what they need.”

“Most things, I assume, though,” Gwen said. “Their flat was basically a bachelor pad for two.” When she pressed between his knees and the coffee table to sit on the other end of the sofa, Arthur took her hand and squeezed. She looked up and smiled. 

They continued discussing housewarming gifts as Lance moved in and out of the kitchen until the curry was finished and they all sat at their kitchen table looking out at the rainy April afternoon. Soon, last night felt, if for a moment, like a distant past. The routine of sitting there with the two of them opposite him lulled Arthur into a sense of normalcy that dulled the anxious, jittery feeling that had followed him all day. 

Eventually, the streetlights cast a yellow glow over the kitchen and Gwen was stifling a yawn behind the back of her hand. 

She was the one who followed him to the door. 

“I really am sorry about the whole thing,” she said as he slipped into his leather jacket.

“I know you are.” He smiled. “You don’t need to push this so hard.”

Gwen crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the wall in the hallway, her curls backlit by the light coming from the living room. “I just worry that you’ve gotten stuck, somehow, you know? You haven’t really been with anyone since Percy.”

“Do I have to?”

She pressed her lips together. “No. No, of course not. Not if you don’t want to.” 

“Goodnight, Gwen.” Arthur leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Thanks for dinner.”

*

The carriage on the underground only had a handful of people scattered through it. Arthur had stayed at work for long enough to avoid most of the rush, but it was oddly empty for this time of day. He’d been distracted at work all day, his head filled with thoughts about Morgana, Gwen, Elena and Gwaine. Then, at a particularly inopportune moment, an unbidden embarrassing memory from last weekend’s terrible sex made itself known.

Thank fuck it was Friday. 

Arthur intended to spend the weekend hiding from the world. 

At a stop, his phone buzzed several times. A few came in while he still had signal, but it stopped again as the train pulled away again. They were all from Gwen.

**Gwen:**  
_Morgana just told me!!!!!!_

_Holy shiiiiit!_

_What???_

_I can’t believe it._

_you’re gonna be an uncle!!!_

_you’re gonna be the best uncle_

_you’ll have to share with me, though_

Arthur smiled a bit. 

It was all so strange. Gwen and Lance were married. Gwaine and Elena might as well be. Morgana was going to be a mum. 

Maybe, when it came to it, Gwen was right to push him into blind dates. Of course it was fine that he didn’t date, if he didn’t want to. But was it that he didn’t want to, or was it that he’d just gotten comfortable with life the way it was? They’d all been living in London, going to the same spots, doing the same things, until everything gradually changed and here he was, everyone moving in directions he couldn’t keep up with. 

At the next stop, he answered Gwen as soon as he picked up the signal. Right before the train sped up again, a new text came in.  


**Unknown number:**  
_so, I’m a dick_

It wasn’t from Gwen, or any number he had saved in his phone already. There weren’t many people it could be from, really. 

_Yes_ , he typed in reply and waited for it to send. The wait between the messages made the exchange feel even more awkward.

 **Unknown number:**  
_you’re supposed to reassure me that I’m not_

**Arthur:**  
_You ruined my favourite restaurant_

**Unknown number:**  
_you know, the restaurant is kind of why I bailed_

**Arthur:**  
_Really?_

**Unknown number:**  
_i’m not made of money, man_

Arthur rubbed the back of his neck. He didn’t even know why he was engaging in this. 

**Arthur:**  
_If this is your attempt at apologising, it’s not going that well_

His stop came and Arthur pocketed his phone, not bothering to look at the reply. He stepped out and into the busy station, weaving through the crowd and following the rest up towards the street. Outside, it was raining. Not so bad that he was drenched, but enough that his hair grew damp and his cheeks cold. The 10-minute walk was enough to make him chilly. 

Arthur went straight to the kettle when he made it home. He called Morgana to check up on her while he waited for the water to boil, and was promptly told he couldn’t call her twice a day just because she was pregnant. If she thought he was going to stop calling, she was in for a rude awakening. 

When he sat down with his peppermint tea, he looked at his texts again. He’d planned to ignore them, but when did Arthur ever do what was good for him?

**Unknown number:**  
_I know. I’m getting good at fucking things up, apparently._

_look, I’m not usually a dick, I swear. I panicked, I think. The restaurant is fancier than anything I ever do, and I figured we’d never fit together anyway. I should’ve told Gwen I wasn’t going to show._

_I understand if you don’t want to talk again and all. I just wanted to say I’m sorry_

Resting the warm mug against his cheek, Arthur read the texts several times. 

**Arthur** :  
_We all make mistakes. Your apology is accepted._

Pausing for a moment, he saved Merlin’s number into his phone. 

**Arthur:**  
_Have a good night, Merlin._

*

When Merlin texted him again, Arthur was in line at M&S. He nearly knocked over the older lady in front him as he read the text for the third time. It wasn't like he planned to answer. He wouldn’t know what to say even if he’d wanted to. Pocketing his phone, he grabbed a box of grapes from the stand by the till. 

Then he texted back.

*

**Merlin**  
_the guy in front of me on the bus has a face tattooed on the back of his head_

**Merlin**  
_it’s looking right at me_

**Arthur**  
_Does it keep looking at you if you move?_

**Merlin**  
_oh god stop_

**Arthur**  
_But really, that’s so weird. I have nipples tattooed on my back, but at least they’re under my shirt._

**Merlin**  
_You can’t just say shit like that, now everyone’s looking at me_

*

**Merlin**  
_Did you see Endgame yet?_

**Arthur**  
_What’s Endgame?_

**Merlin**  
_……………… I can’t believe Gwen tried to set us up_

 

**Arthur**  
_You’re too easy_

**Merlin**  
_hey_

*

**Merlin**  
_Will it ever stop raining?_

**Arthur**  
_Definitely not._

**Merlin**  
_I don’t ask for much. Just one day of a cloudless sky and no wind. So I can find a park. And just exist._

**Arthur**  
_Cloudless sky and no wind? You definitely ask too much_

**Merlin**  
_I know it can happen! It’s happened before, twice. Maybe once._

**Arthur**  
_I’ll cross my fingers for you._

*

**Merlin**  
_Check the weather for tomorrow_

**Arthur**  
_Wow, miracles do happen._

**Merlin**  
_I deserve it. I made it happen. Positive affirmations. The Secret._

**Arthur**  
_So, you’ve bent the weather to your will?_

**Merlin**  
_I’m just powerful._

**Merlin**  
_Hey, so_

**Merlin**  
_I’m definitely going to the park tomorrow. To just exist. Would you want to join?_

**Merlin**  
_I know it’s probably weird. I stood you up and all that._

**Merlin**  
_But I was just thinking it seems stupid to just keep texting and never having met when we have the same friends._

**Merlin**  
_I know it’s weird. It’s definitely weird._

**Arthur**  
_Which park?_

**Merlin**  
_:D_

**Merlin**  
_Regent’s Park?_

*

Arthur had to be an idiot to do this again, but here he was. 

It was indeed a cloudless sky, no wind, and the first true taste of summer. Arthur wore jeans and a red t-shirt as agreed and he waited at the planned spot, not quite knowing what to do with his body. He half felt like he was being watched and studied by everyone who passed, and he, in turn, kept wondering if every guy was trying to maintain eye-contact. 

They should’ve just exchanged pictures a long time ago, when they’d kept up the texting for reasons neither of them could explain. But there was something too comforting about being that anonymous blind date. 

“You have to be fucking kidding me,” a voice said, and Arthur looked around in bewilderment. 

His mouth fell open in an attempt to speak, but nothing came out. Of course this would happen to him. Nobody else in the universe would get into these bonkers situations. He wanted to disappear into the ground. He wanted to leave his mortal body and ascend into nothingness. 

“Jesus Christ,” he finally said. “Of course it’s you.”

Merlin, standing there with a little bag across his shoulders, a green t-shirt and a pair of jean shorts, was undeniably the second person involved in the world’s worst one night stand. 

“ _How_?” Merlin threw his arms out, eyes wide and frantic. “I can’t even deal with this.”

To the infinite amusement of the universe, no doubt, Arthur had gone straight from being stood up by his blind date to finding the same blind date drunk in a club and attempted to fuck him. Poorly. 

“Well,” Merlin said, finally. “It can’t possibly get worse?” 

The absurdity of that made Arthur laugh, a high-pitched hysterical sound that made two small children stare up at him as they passed. 

Arthur buried his hands in his pockets. “You had no idea at all it was me?”

“Not at all. You?” 

He shook his head. “Definitely not.” 

Merlin rubbed at the back of his neck. “I’ve no idea…” He laughed suddenly. “I don’t know what to do? Do you want to just leave, pretend this never happened?” 

They stood side by side as the entrance to the park, people passing them on either side. Merlin looked just like Arthur remembered him from the club. There was no flush of alcohol, and his shirt wasn’t nearly as tight, but his lips were just as plump, his cheekbones sharp and his eyes unbelievably blue. Arthur remembered seeing him in the crowd, and that sharp sting of want that drove him out of his wits. Strangely, the more he looked at Merlin, the more he just noticed all the reasons he’d moved up into his space by the bar in the first place, rather than the embarrassing consequences. 

“Would you want to go in?” Arthur said, nodding towards the park. 

Merlin looked genuinely surprised by that. He seemed to want to say no for a moment, but then a crooked smile spread across his face. “Sure, yeah. Let’s go in.”

They walked side by side into the park, ambling with no aim over the paths, their conversation halting. Eventually, it dwindled until they walked in silence past families picnicking on the grass, friends throwing Frisbees back and forth, a couple reading in silence with their feet intertwined. Parts of melodies drifted past from little portable speakers, children yelled in delight, laughter rang across the grass. 

They reached a quieter spot near a cluster of trees and sat down on the grass, peering up at the sky while shielding their eyes. 

“Maybe we should have just left it,” Merlin said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Gone our separate ways. This is too weird, isn’t it?” 

Arthur looked across the park and brushed his palm over the grass. “Maybe.” He laughed a little and shook his head. “At the same time, though, we’re still here after all this. It would have been easier to just run in the other direction, wouldn’t it?”

Smiling, Merlin leaned against his shoulder. “Somehow it doesn’t feel like it would have. I guess that does say something.”

“We already have the same friends and everything.”

“And I’m sure the sex can be worked on. Maybe we can take a class or something.” 

Arthur laughed and leaned back on his elbows, looking up into the canopy above them. A low, indistinct melody from someone’s speakers mixed with a slight rustle of leaves. The sun was warm on his forearms, and his chest felt light. 

When he turned, Merlin was focused intently on him. He seemed closer than he’d been, and Arthur’s eyes dropped to his lips for a brief second before he realised how obvious he was being. 

“Can I test something?” Merlin asked and his fingers brushed Arthur’s on the grass. 

Arthur nodded, breath getting stuck in his throat. 

The world narrowed when Merlin leaned in and pressed his lips over Arthur’s, kiss soft and confident at the same time. Arthur’s heart hammered as he opened his lips in return, struck dumb by the feelings that rushed through him. When they pulled apart Arthur held his eyes closed for a moment before he opened them to find Merlin smiling at him. 

Arthur almost made a joke, but it died away when he just kept meeting Merlin’s gaze, soaking in the warm buzz in his chest. Leaning back onto the grass, Merlin closed his eyes against the sun. Arthur kept studying him, unable to stop mapping out his face, his arms, his fingers, until Merlin cracked an eye open and raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Merlin said. “You can’t just look at me like that.” Arthur was about to apologise when Merlin threw a leg over Arthur’s hips and straddled him. Caught by surprise, Arthur’s arms buckled and he grabbed onto Merlin’s thighs as he was pushed flat on the grass. 

Merlin gave a crooked smile before he leaned in, breath fanning across Arthur’s skin, and kissed him, deeper and more urgent than earlier. His nose brushed Arthur’s cheek as he pushed closer. Arthur dug his fingers into Merlin’s hips as he opened up into the kiss, eliciting a small gasp from Merlin when their tongues met. Merlin smelled of warm, sun-kissed skin and the faint fresh scent of fabric softener. 

Angling his head, Arthur brought one hand into Merlin’s hair and ran it through his fingers. The other found a slip of skin between his shorts and his shirt, hot as a brand under his hand. Merlin’s lips brushed hurriedly across Arthur’s. The kiss turned sloppier, their breaths mingling, as Arthur’s heart pounded in his ears. Merlin was a hot pressure over him, every slight movement of it affecting Arthur’s rapidly increasing heartbeat. 

Moaning softly into the kiss, Arthur ran his hand in under Merlin’s shirt, grazing the soft flesh of his stomach. Distantly noticing it was going into a territory he shouldn’t venture into so publicly, he rolled them over, pressing Merlin into the grass, his own body half across Merlin’s chest. He slowed the kiss into a languid slide of lips, shivering as Merlin’s fingers slid into his hair, rubbing circles into his scalp that sent little sparks down his spine. 

Arthur lost track of time entirely under the slow pressure of Merlin’s fingers in his hair. He was tracing circles on the exposed slip of skin above the waist of Merlin’s shorts when they pulled back, Arthur’s lips tingling and swollen. 

“I think,” Merlin said, voice hoarse, “we can safely say last time was just a really off night.”

Arthur raised his eyebrow. “So, we passed the test?” 

“Aced it, for sure.” 

“I think we should still probably practice, just to be on the safe side.”

Merlin pushed himself up on his elbow. His plush lips were bright red. “I have these tickets to an art exhibit. Gwen is ditching me for some pregnant lady. So—”

“My sister.”

“Really?” His face softened. “That’s so great.” He ran a hand through his dark hair. “Will you come with me? It’s probably going to be great, and if it’s not we can make fun of everyone. And I’ll blow you in the bathroom. To prove I actually know how.” 

Arthur hated art exhibitions. “Sure, I’d love to.” 

“To which part?”

“Both, but definitely the last part.” 

Merlin laughed.

*

 _1 year later_  
“Look,” Arthur said, leaning forwards to pass Merlin his phone. “Morgana swears she’s saying ‘mama’ but I’m pretty sure it’s just a string of sounds.”

Merlin cooed at the video before saying, “Well, what is ‘mama’ if not just two random syllables? Let her have it.”

“It’s really not fair that ‘uncle’ is so much harder to say.”

“Very. One of the great tragedies of our time.” 

Arthur tried to kick him but Merlin, too fast, pushed his feet away and tried to roll him off the blanket.

“Hey, hey,” Arthur said, laughing. “Stop!”

“If you quit putting your smelly feet up into my face!” 

The two of them lay opposite each other on a blanket in the park, a book each propped open. A slight breeze rustled the pages from time to time, but it was warm, the sun high in the sky. Not far away a group of friends were listening to music, their raucous laughter ringing across the lawns.

Merlin put his feet up over Arthur’s, resting in his lap. They shared a smile before turning back to their books and Arthur’s hand came to rest on Merlin’s ankle, rubbing slow, absent circles on his skin.


End file.
